ConvergenceCoaching, LLC Inspired Ideas

Giving In To Facebook

If you have followed my social media journey, you’ll remember my initial reticence to spend time on Facebook.   Even though Facebook has over 400 million users, 50% of whom are logged in on any given day, I have avoided investing professional resources in the platform because I thought it was mostly to be used for personal reasons and something my just-becoming-adult nieces and nephews used to talk to friends (not necessarily the place for Aunt Jen to allocate her limited networking time).  I couldn’t see how our team might use the medium to further our initiatives.

Well, I’m writing this blog to eat crow because it has become clear to me that Facebook has true business applications for entities other than video game producers, restaurants and bars, and I believe that our professional services firm (and yours) should be out there – and now!

I have to credit Michelle Baca on our team (www.facebook.com/michellebaca) with transforming my thinking on Facebook.  Michelle has studied its vast feature set and has patiently demonstrated Facebook business applications to me, primarily in meetings with our clients.  At one meeting recently, the community building potential of Facebook and its application for our business – and  our clients – finally began to crystallize for me.  So, despite my thoughts still being formative, I want to share my growing excitement about this application with a user base large enough to be the fourth largest country on our planet.  Here are a few ways that your firm can begin to harness its power:

• Consider developing two corporate pages – one for building a community of clients, prospects, influencers, referral sources, vendors and existing employees and another for attracting and communicating with prospective and existing employees.  This functionality is free with Facebook.
• Use your corporate community page to communicate regularly with your “fans” – people you invite to follow your corporate posts.  Take a look at our corporate community page (and become a fan!) at http://tinyurl.com/ykkwfm5 .  You can use your community page to:
  • Promote upcoming events and recap past events
  • Share news
  • Highlight important product or service announcements
  • Spotlight your key people and allow others to know them better
  • Share pictures from company events
  • Promote your community service activities
  • Seed discussion topics and encourage your fans to interact
  • Request feedback and gain insight into the opinions of your fans
• Create a corporate careers page and form a community of existing and prospective employees.   Doing so will enable you to position your firm as a fun and friendly place to work and create an ongoing communication platform for staying in touch with talent in your field.  If your firm engages in on-campus recruiting programs, you can use this page to promote upcoming campus events and build distinct lists of fans who are affiliated with specific campuses.  Consider appointing employee ambassadors to act as administrators of your careers page to allow prospective employees to ask questions of, and interact with, peers already working at your firm.
• Integrate your corporate Facebook status updates with your firm’s main spokesperson’s Twitter account (www.twitter.com).  This will enable you to reach multiple social media audiences with one communications effort.

So, how is your firm using Facebook to communicate with your constituents?  What concerns do you have about using the platform in your business?  Please post a reply and further our collective thinking.  We’re excited to learn more about the business applications of this incredible platform!

Gratefully,

Jen Wilson

www.convergencecoaching.com

Ask, And Ye Shall Receive!

In a recent ConvergenceCoaching team meeting, a colleague of mine, Krista Remer, made the suggestion that we should boldly ask for what we want.  We are a faith-based organization, so we were exploring why we don’t ask God for all that our hearts desire, as He instructs us to do, but rather pretend to be politically correct – even with Him! – and only ask for something we think merits His time.  Then, we started applying the idea of boldly asking for what we want to our business development strategies, client relationships and even with each other, so I thought I’d explore this idea further in this blog post. 

I found a post by Scott H. Young on his blog Get More From Life  that I think is right on: “Whether it is advice, a sale or a date, confident people ask others for what they want. They ask for what they want out of the world and they ask for what they want out of themselves. Surprisingly much of achieving goals is simply building up the courage to ask for them.”

So, why don’t we have the courage to ask?  As we discussed this topic in our team meeting, we said we sometimes don’t ask our clients if we should help them with a project or tell them about a service we offer that could help them with an issue they’re facing because we’re sensitive to the impact the economy has had on businesses around the country and we don’t want to be perceived as acting from self-interest or being insensitive to their financial plight.  Yet, the key word that jumps out at me is “help.”  We’re asking how we can help our clients grow their practices, thrive in this economy and keep their people.  Instead of acting boldly out of our commitment to serve others, we hold back and risk missing an opportunity to make an even bigger difference for our clients.

I have noticed it’s easier to make a difference, which is one of our organization’s core values, when I ask if I can do so.  We’ve been raised to some degree thinking that it’s selfish to ask things of others, when the opposite is really true.  Others benefit by my asking – whether it’s to take on a new client, be promoted, go on a date, or clean their room – those that I’m asking reap some reward because they said yes.   That’s the other thing that I’ve noticed about asking – it does produce win-win results for me and the person I’m asking (and usually the rewards are received quickly!).

I assert that we don’t ask for what we want in many areas of our lives.  I hear from partners that I coach who don’t ask their people for the time, quality, or leadership they need because they’re afraid it might be too much or because the partners feel it should be assumed and they shouldn’t have to ask.  I know I definitely do this with my husband and children – I don’t ask for what I want because “they should know.”  Boy, does that get me into trouble at times, causing a lot of unneeded miscommunication and hurt feelings. 

If we don’t ask, other people can’t fulfill our requests.  That is the quandary.  My mother-in-law always said, “You won’t get what you want if you don’t ask and the worst thing that could happen anyway is that they’ll say no.”  But how many times do we really get a no?  We’ve seen this proven out when we facilitate leadership and performance management training.  We believe in the saying, “People will rise to where you set the bar,” and we have seen that people really do.  When I ask for support from a colleague, I usually get it enthusiastically, and when I ask a client or prospect if I can help them achieve their goals, often the response is an enthusiastic, “Yes!”

So, I plan to ask more in my life and I am confident that one of the many dividends will be more opportunities to make a difference while I’m fulfilling on my goals. Will you join me? Where are you not asking for what you want? Are you like me and could start by asking God first for what’s on your heart?  What else could you ask for today?  Post a comment and share what you’re going to ask for or the results you get when you do ask! 

Warmly,

Tamera Loerzel

www.convergencecoaching.com

Expectant Hope

I am so excited to join this great team at ConvergenceCoaching!  And this includes not only my colleagues, but all of the great CPA and IT firms and professionals we are privileged to serve!  As I make my start with ConvergenceCoaching, I can see how all of my learning and experience have prepared me for such a time as this.

Ten years ago, I was asked to lead a team to propose on the outsourcing of the Rockwell International tax reporting function. As we worked on the proposal, I kept thinking about how I would answer the question, “How many times have you done this before?”  Of course, I had never done this exact type of work, but my confidence grew when I realized that I had been preparing for Rockwell through everything I had done up to that point. As it turned out, I did not get a chance to test that answer with the Rockwell folks, but perhaps they could see I was ready because they selected our team for a three year engagement.

Sarbanes-Oxley shut the door on our continuing with Rockwell for a fourth year and beyond, so I found myself looking for the next challenge. With restrictions on our ability to provide services to our attest clients, Deloitte decided to invest in my deployment as a full time “Lead Client Service Partner.”  Here was the vision: “There are some great companies that we would like you to turn into clients, by treating them like clients. We have never done any work for these companies, we don’t know them and they don’t know us.”  Realizing again that I had been preparing my whole life for this particular mission, I said, “You had me at hello!”  And the “return” on that investment was not only new revenue streams from new clients, but also the greatest time of my life leading and serving clients with cross functional teams.

And you know what I really value?  It’s being part of a team.  My greatest joy is in winning as a team – not a personal moment of glory, but a true team victory.  I believe that we are not created to be alone, and that nothing worthwhile can be accomplished alone.  As we teach at ConvergenceCoaching, we are all leaders regardless of our role.  True leaders serve their teams and that’s where my heart is – in servant leadership. We need each other and I need all of you! 

I’m reminded of the story of Julius Caesar’s conquest of England, where to secure the commitment of his team, Caesar “burned the ships” – so there was only going forward and no going back.  While not always a conscious choice, “burning the ships” has been part of my life experience and I’m thankful that as I have moved forward in my life and career, there was no “going back” option.  I’ve learned to embrace the change that the future always brings, and while I can’t “go back,” I can draw confidence from my past experience and use it to shape the future.

Expectant hope. That’s what I have.  Not a “roll the dice and see what happens” kind of hope, but an expectant hope.  A hope that comes from knowing that I’m here for a purpose, and that all I have learned and done and experienced on my journey has prepared me to serve alongside you.  My hope flows from a spirit of thankfulness to God, the One from whom all blessings flow. I’m especially thankful to now be a part of you.

Best regards,

Jack

Busy Season Survival Strategies

Last April, we published a blog post entitled “Who Needs A Little Post-Busy Season Renewal” - but this year, we wanted to help you get a jumpstart on taking care of yourself and your team! It can be tempting to tell yourself that you’re just going to “tough it out,” and “plow through” to get to the end of busy season.  But, April 16th could feel like a day very far into the future if you don’t take some pressure relieving measures well in advance!

Also, remember that along with the high level of pressure during busy season, there is also a high level of client contact at this time of year. With this increase in client “face time” comes the opportunity to build and/or further develop rapport, identify cross-selling opportunities and ask for referrals. You can’t be at your best, provide your clients the impression you have the interest and capacity to do more and make the most of these opportunities if you are stressed  and tired.  While the health and well-being of you and your team is crucial, keep in mind that your firm’s financial health could depend on your ability to effectively manage the volume and compression, too! 

With approximately fifty-one days left in the “official” “busy season, here are some ideas that you (or your admin or HR staff) can incorporate fun, levity and stress-relief into your work days (and nights!).  Undertake these ideas to help your team members not only survive – but to be at the top of their games during this busy season:

Relaxation and Renewal

• Bring in a masseuse to give 15-minute chair massages
• Have periodic stretching or dancing breaks
• Hold an in-house yoga or meditation class during lunch
• Design a “resting room” where people can go to take a break, read a magazine, or take a power nap
• Bring in exercise equipment like a treadmill or elliptical machine (exercise releases endorphins, the “feel good” chemicals, and is one of the best stress management techniques we know of!)

Fuel for the Body

• Bring in yogurt, fruit, bagels or muffins for breakfast
• Provide healthy afternoon snacks like fruit, yogurt, pretzels, or nuts
• Take orders and go on a morning or afternoon coffee run
• Bring in restaurant menus for team members who are working through dinner and order in
• Provide breakfast and lunch on Saturdays
• Have theme days with complimentary food, like a Mexican fiesta, Hawaiian luau, Italian feast, barbeque, etc.
• Have a potluck day where everyone contributes a menu item or host a chili cook off

Games and Contests

• Develop trivia games with prizes for the winner – you can create a theme such as “The Olympics” or “Songs from the 90’s”
• Have team members bring in their baby pictures and hold a contest to see who can make the most correct matches
• Play memory games or have “Survivor Challenges” like who can stand on one leg the longest

Convenience and Family Considerations

• Consider making a concierge service available to run errands like picking up dry cleaning or prescriptions
• Allow flexible scheduling, for example allowing those who consider themselves “night people” may be more productive if they come in a little later and work later hours

Acknowledgement

As Tamera Loerzel wrote in her September 16, 2009 blog post entitled “Programs to Inspire Your Team,”, Acknowledgment and Respect is one of the six major motivators for people in their careers. Acknowledging effort and hard work can go a long way, especially at times when pressure is at its highest and people may be being pushed to their limits. Here are some of the ways you can demonstrate appreciation to your team members:

• Send personal appreciation emails or hand-written notes to people for a job well done
• Stop by someone’s cubicle or office to tell them what a great job they did on a project
• Send group communications acknowledging team accomplishments or singling out a team member for an achievement in a staff meeting
• Implement a “wow” note program where anyone can submit someone’s name and accomplishment for acknowledgement and then read the “wow” notes at firm-wide meetings
• Give gift cards for exceptional performance

What are you doing to make this busy season at your firm less stressful and more fun? Are there some new ideas that you will try out this year? What are some old “tried and true” activities that have become a tradition at your firm? Please let us know what’s working and what you have planned for this year.

Resources with Other Ideas for Reducing Stress and Increasing Fun During Busy Season:

PCPS Seasonality Success Newsletter, October 2006, Volume #1 Issue 1:
http://tinyurl.com/yk8mgku

PCPS March 2008 Brief:
http://tinyurl.com/ykz7wpe

 

Best wishes for a successful and fun –filled busy season!

Michelle Baca
www.convergencecoaching.com

The Power of Yoga – Or Any Exercise Really!

I’m a yoga fanatic.  But I am not writing this blog to enroll you in the yoga movement if you aren’t already swept up in it.  Instead, I want to talk about the real benefits I experience from regular exercise in my life and why our team is so committed to it that we even include it in our recommendations for the managers and partners we coach.  If you want to increase your energy levels or improve your overall mood and positivity, which are two of the seven benefits of exercise the Mayo Clinic touts, “look no further than good old fashioned exercise.”

As Jennifer Wilson wrote in her March 25, 2009 blog post, Manage Stress, Don’t Let It Manage You, “Exercise produces “feel good” endorphins that help reduce or mitigate stress.” There is nothing like the endorphin high and energy rush that I get after a good run or bike ride or the combined stamina and relaxation I feel after an Ashtanga yoga session.  Personally, I gain the health benefits that exercise provides and also benefit considerably by clearing my mind for an hour that gives me the energy – and “A-game” - I am then able to bring to my clients, co-workers, family and others with whom I come in contact after.

As we’re rapidly moving through February with the end of winter in sight, and for some of our friends in the accounting profession ramping up for the busiest time of the year, exercise could just be the energy booster you need.  While the “experts” recommend that you exercise every day, you’ll reap benefits immediately by committing to start by exercising once or twice a week and then ramp up to more activity as you go. Pick activities that interest you and are easily accessible.  For me, living in Minnesota, I have to belong to a gym to ensure that I have a year-round exercise program due to weather – since you will not find me running outdoors in sub-zero temperatures!

I also find that I am more motivated when I set exercise goals for myself, and they are usually pretty lofty so that I have to really work to achieve them – like running a half marathon the first year I started running or riding a 300-mile bike ride (over four days) last year after not having been on a bike for more than three years (check out my blog post on the realization of that goal at Speak It Into Existence).  I also like to change it up to keep it interesting, so I’ll try new class times and teachers at the gym or new exercise forms to keep it fresh.  Some people like a routine that they can count on and that’s fine, too.  

If you’ve been putting off exercise because you don’t feel you have time, you don’t think it will be “fun” or you are afraid you won’t stick to it, I would encourage you just to pick something, check with your doctor to get clearance if needed, and get started anyway.  Find a friend to join you, put it on your calendar just as you would a client appointment, and then keep the commitment.  I have a friend who started her exercise plan two years and picked walking as the activity. This past year, she and several of her friends walked the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure here in Minnesota in August and took a “walking vacation” by completing the walk in Phoenix in November.    You never know what sharing your commitment to exercise with a friend and then sticking to it can lead to!

Soon, you’ll get “hooked” on the real benefits of exercise and discover – as I did – that you don’t want to live without it!   Post a comment and share what you’re going to do to – or are already doing –to enhance your well-being, energy level and overall outlook on life.  We’d love to know what you’re up to!

Warmly,

 

 

Tamera Loerzel

www.convergencecoaching.com

Rebuilding Trust - It Starts With Forgiveness

In my last blog, I explored developing trust with others, and now will consider those situations when trust has eroded and we are seeking to rebuild a trusting relationship.

We can’t rebuild trust in a relationship until forgiveness occurs.  To forgive, you have to be willing to give up your feeling of being wounded.  Dictionary.com defines forgiveness as, “To grant pardon to; to cease to feel resentment against; to cancel an indebtedness or liability of.”  Sometimes old hurts and resentments become a badge of self-righteousness.  When we let go, we may not know what to do.  Think of your resentments as a heavy load that you are carrying around and the load gets bigger and heavier with time.  Notice how the load holds you in the past.  This first step in rebuilding trust and forgiving is letting go.  In order to move on, you must commit to releasing your feelings of anger, resentment, and the need to punish the person with whom you have lost trust. 

Sometimes, we’re afraid to let go because we’re afraid that this would mean that we’re condoning the other person’s actions.  Forgiveness doesn’t deny responsibility for behavior - you have simply committed not to hold the other person in debt. The Positive Way explains forgiveness this way: “Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.  It is a release from the burden of anger and pain.  When you choose to forgive, you choose to live in the present and the future instead of the past.  It does not mean to forget but it does mean to release and go on.  Forgiveness doesn't happen on its own, you must choose to forgive.”  According to Randy Pausch, author of The Last Lecture, there are three parts to an apology: 1) Say, “I’m sorry [for the issue]”; 2) Make a statement of commitment; and 3) Ask what you can do to make it right.  Only when you forgive the person who wronged you, can you determine if you want the relationship to continue, and if so, begin to work on reconciliation with the other party.    

In Stephen M.R. Covey's book, The Speed of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything, he states that a loss of trust that is created by a violation of character is much more difficult to restore than one that is created by a violation of competence.  When competence is the issue, it is typically easier for the other party to take responsibility and recommit to deliver results, get better, confront reality, right wrongs, and keep commitments.  When the violation is an issue of character – such as someone’s  integrity, dishonesty or motive -  more time is likely required to restore trust.  Sometimes, you may determine that the relationship cannot continue and you should then forgive the person and move on.  It is still important – for you as much as for the other person – that you pardon the person of wrong-doing so you can both be free.

Restoring trust and rebuilding the relationship requires that you be in the present (versus reliving the past – you let that go!) and determine what you need from the other person in your relationship.  Be willing to clearly ask for changes in behaviors in ways that can be observed and understood.  Offer similar changes yourself to support your request and show your commitment to the relationship and willingness to change.  Put your agreement in writing when appropriate (especially in professional relationships) and check in with each other on a regular basis to be accountable to each other for your part. 

At times, old fears and suspicions may resurface.  Similar circumstances may bring up the old pain.  Remind yourself of the difference between then and now and move back into the present moment.  You may choose to speak openly to the other person about your recurring fears, focusing on sharing, not accusing and own the fear as yours rather than the other person’s fault.  This is when transparency and honesty are most valuable.  This is about making peace with the past and living in the NOW.

A recent example of rebuilding trust is with a friend who allowed a great deal of construction work to be done on her rental property by someone she trusted with only a handshake.  When he presented her with a bill that she felt was exorbitant, she refused to pay it and hired a lawyer to prosecute him for fraud.  Her trusting relationship of many years was destroyed.  He went away feeling misunderstood and undervalued for his skill and service; she went away feeling taken advantage of.  He wants to rebuild the relationship and has offered a lower fee for his services as a start.  Even though he does not agree that he overpriced the work, the caring relationship was more important to him than the money. She is still in the early stages of rebuilding trust and is working to let go of the anger and pain.   Beginning with clear communication - talking straight and demonstrating respect – will help them work to restore trust and rebuild their relationship.

Up until now, I’ve focused our discussions of eroded trust based on the feeling that we’ve been wronged.  What if we were the one who eroded trust by wronging – or disappointing – someone?  Consider starting by asking for forgiveness.  Then identify what the other person needs from you and what behaviors you could change – begin with the 13 behaviors Covey identified, as I discussed in last week’s blog, Building Trust – What Does It Really Take.

If you are struggling with a lack of trust in a relationship, I hope that these ideas will offer some possibilities for positive change.  I have found them to be helpful guidelines in my work and personal life.  Forgiveness becomes its own reward.  Living in the present moment and letting go of the pain and resentment of the past lightens our load and brings hope and possibility into our future. What actions can you take to rebuild trust in relationships?

Warmly,

Sylvia Lane

Building Trust - What It Really Takes

As we move into this new year and new decade, one of the things that seems definite for us is change.  As my colleague, Tamera Loerzel, explored in her blog Who Are You Going to Be In The Face Of Change, whether it’s our economy, our government, our weather patterns, the foods we eat, or the people with whom we interact, things continue to evolve.  One of the ways to help keep ourselves centered and balanced is to ensure that we have trust in the people with whom we have relationships as we work to navigate these changes, accomplish our goals and fulfill our dreams.

To truly trust, we must first define it and understand why it is so important in this changing phase of history.  In his book, The Speed of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything, Stephen M.R. Covey states, “Simply put, trust means confidence.  The opposite of trust – distrust – is suspicion. When you trust people, you have confidence in them – in their integrity and in their abilities. When you distrust people, you are suspicious of them – their integrity, their agenda, their capabilities, or their track record. It’s that simple.”   

Every relationship --- whether personal or professional --- requires a foundation of trust to be successful.  In the early stages of a successful relationship, what is taking place is the development of trust.  If this does not happen, chances are that the relationship is short-lived or never gets off the ground at all.

So, how do we develop trust?  Often, it seems this is done unconsciously and instinctively.  We choose partners that we've known before and have had good feelings about and achieved positive results with at work or in our personal lives.  When we look closer at what caused us to feel good about a person and trust them, certain factors help us build trust or erode it.  Specifically, Covey identifies thirteen behaviors that build (or in the absence of them erode) trust: straight talk, demonstrating respect, creating transparency, righting wrongs, showing loyalty, delivering results, getting better, confronting reality, clarifying expectations, practicing accountability, listening first, keeping commitments, and extending trust first.

To develop trust with another person, it is helpful to start with a self-assessment to reflect on how trustworthy you are. How would you rate yourself on these thirteen behaviors?  Where can you improve?  We all can improve in some area, and it is helpful to be willing to acknowledge where you might not be as strong and commit to work on that area.  For me, I have chosen to work on confronting reality.  I am the eternal optimist and can ignore or reframe difficulties in an effort to create inspiration for the solution.  Unfortunately, sometimes I get reinforcement to keep skipping past the difficult points and don’t address them in my solutions.  Now, I am choosing to stop and pay attention in the present moment to what is actually taking place.  Now, I will say to myself, "Why am I avoiding the truth of what is going on?  Does it hurt too much?  Will it hurt someone else if I speak of it?  Does the problem feel too big to solve?  Does it sound so difficult that I won't get any help?"  Probably none of my fears will come true.  The situation will be easier to work on when I actually face what is taking place and discuss it with others involved.  When we can discuss the elephant in the middle of the room, we can work together to get it moved out of the way.

In my next blog post, I will explore some ideas about how to restore trust.  In the meantime, how are you doing in maintaining trust in your relationships?  What can you do to enhance trust starting today?  Post a comment and share!  We’d love to hear from you.

Warmly,

Sylvia Lane
www.convergencecoaching.com

Do You Feel What I Feel?

I have been so lucky this holiday season because I have been home for most of the month of December, something that doesn’t usually happen.  While this may not be ideal economically, it has provided me an opportunity to really revel in the benefits of being home for the holidays which have included:

 

• Getting the tree up before mid-month
• Attending all of my children’s holiday programs and school parties
• Watching my 80 year-old mom sing holiday carols around town with the Offuttaires
• Hosting a holiday luncheon and not begrudging it
• Still shopping online, but not having to Fed Ex everything for emergency delivery
• Taking our church youth group caroling and teaching the kids about sharing the joy of the season without reserve (and with a tinge of embarrassment about having to hang out with a mom like me)

While I share these benefits with my tongue a little in cheek, being home has allowed me to rediscover the joy of the season in the excited faces of school-aged children, the beautiful sounds of the season and in simple traditions that this year feel special, instead of obligatory.

Sometimes, in our busiest, most blessed periods in life, the pace and stress keep us from really feeling the fun of it all.  The universe has imposed a slow down on me this December, and on so many others, too – and in the quiet and uncertainty, I have found peace and pleasure.  

While I can’t tell you that I’ll pray that this stillness continues indefinitely, I am committed to revel in it while it’s here.  I am working to remember that the next phase, once busy again, will cause me to pack my bags frequently and travel away from my home and family to spread the message of leadership responsibility and organizational unity to others. 

That time will come soon enough.  Until then, I feel blessed to be in this great nation, experiencing the warmth of my home, the laughter of my family and the time to pray about, and plan for, the future.   I am also grateful for the opportunity to share life’s rich experiences with you, our readers and contributors.  Thank you for a wonderful year.

On behalf of the entire ConvergenceCoaching team, we wish you peace, joy, love and prosperity in the new year ahead.   And if you find the time in your holiday hustle (or hush), share how you’re feeling when you have a chance.  We’d love to hear from you!

Joyfully,

Jen

P.S.  To celebrate the joy of this season and honor our hard-working team, we will close our offices from December 24 through January 3, reopening for business on Monday, January 4, 2010.   We will post our next blog on Wednesday, January 5 and appreciate your support of our team holiday.  We look forward to communicating with you in the bright New Year ahead!

Giving Trust As A Holiday Gift

This holiday season, I have been exploring the possibility of giving something that is intangible but still valuable and long-lasting.  So many of the clients that I have worked with recently have been dealing with issues of trust.  I decided to use some of the knowledge that I have learned and applied professionally in a personal effort to maintain and rebuild trust for myself.  I recognize that the key elements of trust involve straight talk and consistent behavior.  In the past, I have found myself often agreeing to things that I really did not want to do just because it was the holidays.  When I considered them, I decided that it was OK to do them but I needed to be honest with myself and accept that I might prefer to be doing something else.  If I can't talk straight to myself, how will I be able to do it with friends or relatives?  While I have been teaching others to avoid holiday stress, I discovered I was not following my own advice.

My first opportunity for straight talk came immediately regarding the family Christmas dinner.  I had been away for Thanksgiving and guessed that I was expected to host the Christmas dinner for relatives back home.  Please note, that this was a guess and not anything that anyone had asked me to do. When I presented this idea to my husband, he immediately questioned my interest in doing this.  He knew that I had already agreed to provide coverage for a friend who was a psychotherapist while she took a holiday trip.  I might end up working in some psychiatric emergency room instead of my own kitchen.  I admitted that I had spent several days with lots of friends and relatives at Thanksgiving, and I really would prefer to have a small, quiet time together for Christmas.  He insisted that I call the local relatives to find out about their plans and let them know that we would not be the hosts this year.  I made the calls without apologies and look forward to being together with them at New Year's instead.

My first step in building trust is being straight with myself.  Next, I chose to be straight with the other persons involved in my decision.  The challenge now is to be consistent in sharing my authentic feelings.  I have been involved with a church project to collect and distribute gifts to needy families in our area.  This is something that I have enjoyed making the time to do.  I also agreed to do the Sunday talk on the significance of the Advent season to relieve the minister who is grieving the recent loss of his wife.  I have felt authentic with this behavior and choices I’ve made.  These have been enjoyable gifts to share.  I also feel that  I am building trust within my spiritual community.  It is important to me to give back to the place where I receive.

There are so many gifts that cannot be bought and wrapped but are a true expression of your caring.  Be straight.  Be consistent.  Be authentic.  Be true to your word.  Others will know that they can count on you.  Even if they don't like your decision, they will know that they can trust it to be true. What can you do this holiday season that will help you to build trust with yourself and your friends, family, or community, too?

Warmly,

Sylvia

A Time To Give Thanks

As we approach the Thanksgiving holiday this week, it seemed only appropriate that we stop and reflect on all that we have to be thankful for.  To follow my own advice from my blog, It Will All Come Together, I asked my colleagues to make a list and share what they are thankful for.  Even with the uncertainty many of us have experienced this year, I am profoundly moved by the many blessings we have in our lives.  Here are few of the highlights:

• Amy Denman - This Thanksgiving, more than others in the past, I am thankful for my kids and that my husband comes home from work every night. My husband is an officer in the US Air Force, so I am acutely aware that we could be spending this holiday season apart, as so many of our friends are doing.  I thank God he is home, with us, and I pray for the safety of all our troops and friends overseas.  Many of my military friends are spending this holiday season separated from the ones they love.  I am thankful for all the military families who cannot spend the holidays with their loved ones in order to protect and defend our wonderful country.
  
  So, this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for my fabulous, spectacularly unique family and that we are together and present to our love for each other.

• Jen Eby - I am thankful for the group of wonderful people I work with. Working for ConvergenceCoaching has given me the opportunity to develop knowledge in a wide number of areas.  It is a great inspiration to be surrounded by such intelligent, hard working, loving co workers!  Also, I am so thankful for the love and support from my husband, boys, parents and grandparent give to me. I am thankful for good health and wisdom I have been given. Being loved by so many people is much to be thankful for!! Happy Thanksgiving to all!

• Jen Wilson - I am thankful for the grace and love of God, the beauty and wonder of this planet, my best friend and husband, Brian, my children and the privilege of leading and loving them, my loving parents and siblings, my incredibly talented team (see the blog Not Me - Us) and our inspiring and courageous clients, my health and my ability to still run and play hard as I enter the magical world of mid-life.  I am super blessed!

• Krista Remer - As I reflect on all I have to be thankful for, the “regulars” come immediately to mind, like my husband and loving extended family, my “angels” (two Maltese dogs), my job and terrific colleagues and friends… But, beyond that, I am so blessed to have a multitude of things that others around the world and even our own country do not.  I have a roof over my head, water to drink without fear of disease, my freedom to worship God as I choose, and many other “luxuries.”  What a privileged life I lead, indeed!

• Lisa Spear -I am thankful for my past, as it has provided me with so many opportunities and made me who I am today.  I am thankful for my awesome husband and extended family.  But most of all I am thankful for my three beautiful children who make me a better person each and every day. I am truly blessed…

• Michelle Baca - Meister Eckhart  said, “If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.”  In the past two weeks, I have been making a conscious effort to begin and end each day with thoughts of gratitude.  I am thankful for so much around me and in my life that I couldn’t possibly express all the gratitude that is in my heart but here is a little sample of the things that I feel tremendously thankful for. I am thankful for the great honor of raising my smart, independent, gorgeous five-year old daughter with my loving husband and our amazing families who are the “village” that help us take good care of her. I am thankful for the amazing team at ConvergenceCoaching that I get to make a difference in the world with. And I’m thankful that I have perfected the art of making my own soy lattes, which will be saving me thousands and thousands of dollars in the years to come!

• Ruth Richter – I am very thankful for my family, especially my loving husband and best friend, Bob, and my two amazing sons.   I’m also thankful for our IT business, ROI Consulting, Inc. that turns 12 on December 1st and ConvergenceCoaching, LLC that turns 10 in April.  Both provide us great, enjoyable careers and livelihood.  Most of all, I am thankful for the guidance, presence of mind and support I receive from my faith in God and my parents who have shown me to have faith.

• Sylvia Lane - I am unconditionally thankful for everything that is taking place in my life right now. Even those testy and challenging things also come from my spiritual Source.  There must be some positive learning that will eventually show itself.  Thank you, God, for all that is and for all that is not.  I do indeed feel blessed.

• Tamera Loerzel – In his sermon on Sunday, our pastor defined gratitude as “an expression of joy for the gifts we’ve received.”  I am joyfully grateful for my husband and three extraordinary children – who are the best gifts that God has bestowed on me – along with our extended family who helps us raise them. I am also thankful for my ConvergenceCoaching colleagues that I get to make a difference in the world with every day. Lastly, I have profound gratitude to be healthy and alive in our wonderful country, the US of A, and for the men and women who make freedom a reality!

We are also thankful for our clients and colleagues – we are truly grateful for our relationship with you!  What are you thankful for?  Post a comment and share your gratitude with us – we’d love to hear from you and spread the positivity of all our many blessings!

Happy Thanksgiving,

Tamera