ConvergenceCoaching, LLC Inspired Ideas

The Necessity of Failure

I’m writing this blog after consoling my oldest child this week.  She’s did not make it into a choral group she auditioned for and is understandably disappointed.  As a parent, I want nothing more than to sweep away her disappointment and somehow wave a wand (or something heavier) to get her what she wants.

 

As a leadership coach, though, I know that my daughter’s inability to achieve her goal is an important part of her development as a powerful leader.   So, we are encouraging her to take 100% responsibility for her lack of success and avoid blaming others or the system.  Instead, our counsel has been to evaluate what she could have done differently and how she could improve.  Then she can develop strategies for enhancing her future performance.

 

From failure, she will also be able to experience humility and vulnerability.  As sports leader Dave Checketts said, “Success builds character, failure reveals it.”  To show a leader’s character, my daughter will need to graciously accept condolences and coaching from others – something most of us would rather avoid.  She’ll need to congratulate her friends who made the choral group and keep her chin up when she answers inquiries about her own status. 

 

This disappointment will also enable my daughter to re-evaluate her commitment to her goal to be in this group.  I know she will continue singing and she’s signed up for chorus for the rest of the year.  However, she’ll now be forced to face decisions about how much more effort she wants to put forward to hone her skills to achieve her goal when the next audition period comes around.  She may decide, instead, that she’d rather put that additional time into swimming, dance, studies, reading or one of her other passions.  From this blessed disappointment, she’ll learn to prioritize her life.

 

Above all, failure will teach her to be resilient.  As my colleague Sylvia wrote in her wonderful blog on resilience last week, “Many times, under difficult circumstances, we discover that we have an inner strength that we had not acknowledged before.”  This week, I have witnessed this power and strength rise up from within my daughter, the leader. 

 

So, we must allow our children, our staff, our peers, our partners and ourselves to take risks and try new things that we know may lead to failure.  This will allow for growth– either by achieving our goals or through the lessons that come from falling short. 

 

What is your experience with failure?  How do you support those around you when they are experiencing disappointment or have fallen short of their goal?  How do you cope yourself?  Please consider sharing!

 

 “We seem to gain wisdom more readily through our failures than through our successes. We always think of failure as the antithesis of success, but it isn't.  Success often lies just the other side of failure.” - Leo Buscaglia

 

Gratefully,

 

 

Jen

www.convergencecoaching.com

Resilience – Bouncing Back From Trying Times

I have recently dealt with several people in my personal and professional life who are facing cutbacks at work, living with stressful times at home, or are dealing with health challenges.  Facing these changes requires the quality of RESILIENCE.  Resilience is a term used in science to describe the property of a material to absorb and then restore energy when it has been deformed.  In physics, this can be measured and the results can be mathematically predicted.  

In dealing with human trauma and crisis, we think of resilience as our ability to recover and heal emotionally or physically.  It is about learning to live through setbacks and carry on in spite of them.  Resilience is about dealing with reality --- even when it is negative --- and continuing toward our stated goals.  Many times, under difficult circumstances, we discover that we have an inner strength that we had not acknowledged before.  Here are some of the things we can do to increase our resiliency during times of stress or physical challenges:

1. We can use our ability to manage anxiety by slowing down our breathing.  We can start with basic BREATHING EXERCISES.  Inhale deeply to a count of four.  Hold your breath for a moment and then exhale to a count of four.  Repeat this two or three times  until you feel more relaxed.  This provides you a brief chance to REST before you continue with the day (and you can do it anytime, anywhere!).
2. POSITIVE THINKING increases our resilience.  When we are faced with a problem, begin to visualize a solution.  Often it is tempting to simply complain about what is not going well.  Commit to never complaining without also exploring a possible solution.  When you change challenges into possibilities, there is a lightness of spirit and a chance for excitement instead of anxiety. 
3. Use TIME MANAGEMENT techniques to reduce the feeling of pressure or overwhelm.  For example, if your schedule seems overloaded, avoid the expectation of rushing through more assignments than you can reasonably handle and feeling the heaviness that goes with that.  Seek ways to delegate, renegotiate due dates, reprioritize with team members or move less urgent tasks into another day. 
4. VISUALIZE bouncing back from a negative situation.  I have an image of a “Slinky” toy that is coiled and mashed down but continues to release and move forward.  What can you imagine that can be your image of a successful recovery or intended results?
5. TAKE ACTION that is consistent with your goal, even if it is difficult and this is your first time doing things this way.  Taking an action, even a small one, will help you feel in control and that you can impact the situation in a positive manner.
6. REVIEW where you began and where you are now.  Notice the progress you have made.  Pay attention to what you did differently that helped to create success.  Acknowledge and reward yourself for feeling completed.

Above all, let go of the need for perfection – especially during difficult times.  You may be in a new situation with new experiences, so you may find that you need to experiment with new ways of solving problems.  Some of these may not work.  Don't waste time beating up on yourself when they don’t work or for being in the situation in the first place.  As Jimmy Dean once said:

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” 

What have you done to “bounce back” and be resilient during challenging times?  Post a comment and share so others can try your ideas, too!

Warm Regards,

Sylvia Lane
www.convergencecoaching.com

Proud To Be An American – Part II

I wasn’t going to do it. I was going to refrain from opining about the mosque being built near ground zero.  As I’ve been watching the news and listening to the debates in my daily interactions on the topic, I keep going back to a statement I wrote in my blog post this past 4^th of July:  “That individuality is what makes our country so great and what makes it so difficult at times to encompass equality with all of our diversity.”  One of the premises on which our nation was founded is the freedom of religious expression.  As Emma Lazarus’ quote on the Statue of Liberty so simply says, "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.”

Our diversity – in our ethnicity, religious beliefs, social status, and more - is foundational to who we are as the United States of America.  I am perplexed by all the debate about whether a mosque should be built when “allowing” one to be built  is a fundamental premise on which our country was founded.  Instead, I think we should discuss how we can better embrace our differences, learn more about what we don’t know and treat our neighbors as we would like to be treated.  

If we started there, we might actually be able to impact peace at a global level – but let’s start in our country.  Better yet, let’s start in our own community, schools, churches (and mosques and synagogues and other places of worship) and in our workplaces. 

I teach courses on embracing diversity to increase empathy and enhance understanding of the differences we experience in the areas of our personality, gender, culture and generation.  It’s truly transformational when teammates who have been working together for years take the time to learn why some people make decisions based on a hunch instead of gathering more facts, question agenda items (or don’t), or consider the impact to  people over other factors when making important business decisions.   This is just a simple example of embracing diversity on our work teams – and when we do, it can make a tremendous impact on the productivity, collaboration and morale of your team. 

When we try to force people to be like us – or have the same beliefs as we have or do things the way we would do them – we limit ourselves and our potential as a collective whole.  These restrictions inhibit innovation, learning, and the desire to explore other possibilities.  Instead, let’s listen to different viewpoints and ideas.  When we do, we’ll expand what we can achieve together instead of being limited by what we can do by ourselves. 

We are a strong nation because of our diversity and our differences.  How else can we capitalize on these differences?  What could you learn about the people closest to you so that you can embrace – and appreciate – their differences?  Please post a comment and share with us – we’d love to hear from you!

Warmly,

Tamera
www.convergencecoaching.com

 

There Is No Success Without Succession

We all know of companies, organizations and teams – big and small, famous and not so famous – who enjoyed success for a while but could not make it last.

In his book, Built to Last, Jim Collins studied companies that prospered over the long term like Ford, Hewlett-Packard, Johnson & Johnson, Marriott, Merck, Motorola, Nordstrom, Philip Morris, Procter & Gamble, Sony, Wal-Mart, and Disney.  Each of these great companies were started by entrepreneurial founders who remained in the role of chief executive for an average of 37 years.  Yet each of these founders were also great managers and company builders who developed their own successors—all homegrown insiders—who remained in office for 24 years on average.

History shows that if you want your company to live beyond your lifetime, you must develop a successor who is capable of continuing what you have started.  You must be committed to succession.

Well-planned and executed succession is important for three reasons:

• First, it allows founders of companies to retire and leave a legacy.
• Second, it creates opportunity for future leaders to become owners and new hires to become future leaders who will carry on what the founders started.
• Last, but not least, it provides advanced preparation for the unanticipated loss of a key leader.

At ConvergenceCoaching LLC, our main focus is helping CPA firms achieve success, so we support the conclusion of the Private Companies Practice Section (PCPS) of the AICPA  in their 2008 Succession Survey that, “Succession planning is about sustaining the firm throughout constant change.  It should be a regular and ongoing practice.”  We also believe that effective succession must be part of the day-to-day operation of the firm, not a “life event” that occurs once every generation. 

Succession needs to be planned, so that client relationships can be properly transitioned, new roles can be properly learned, and the financial aspects can be properly covered.  The major steps for effective succession planning for CPA firms (and their clients) are listed below:

• Define and understand the relationships and roles that need to be transitioned.  As part of this, make a list of all that each partner knows and owns, including:  clients, staff reporting, referral sources, community organization involvement, and internal assignments
• Identify what needs to occur in terms of ongoing training and development.  Create a leadership development program for the potential successors who are changing roles
• Identify changes in your communications and marketing strategy.  Consider both internal and external – consider marketing and firm brand implications – including changes to the firm name
• Evaluate timing.  All partners need to annually declare the specific timing for their retirement to help determine the start and duration of each transition

Why is it more important than ever before for CPA firms to focus on succession planning?  There are 76 million Baby Boomers looking to retire over the next 10-15 years (those born from 1946-1964) and only 41 million Gen Xer’s to succeed them (1965-1981).  According to the Institute of Management and Administration, “an astonishing 86 percent of key partners in CPA firms with 66-100 full-time employees are between 50 and 60 years old; in smaller firms, 50 percent of partners are in that age range.”  Similar demographics apply in industry.  Clearly hiring, developing and retaining your successor are not tasks that can or should be deferred any longer.  My advice:  stop putting it off.

With all the historical evidence supporting the long-term value of succession planning, and the demographic evidence supporting the imperative of succession planning, why is it still so hard to get started? 

Because retiring and letting go are hard things for anyone, especially for founding partners whose life and identity are tied up in the success of the firm they have started, nutured and built. Feelings of fear, insecurity and loss of self-worth are common and normal. You must overcome the tendency to “hang on” too long by facing the reality that the ultimate expression of your success is in leaving a legacy that lives beyond you. That is why there is no success without succession.  For additional thoughts on “Letting Go Gracefully,” see my colleague Jen Wilson’s February 3, 2010 blog (http://blog.convergencecoaching.com/2010/02/letting-go-gracefully.html).

As a final inspiration on the topic of succession, I’ll close with the words of American intellectual, writer, reporter, and political commentator, Walter Lippman, who observed that “The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind him in other men the conviction and the will to go on.”

We will continue to help our clients succeed with their succession plans.  In the meantime, if you have ideas or experiences on this subject, please post them so others can benefit.  Thank you!

Best regards,

Jack
www.convergencecoaching.com

The Summer Respite

I am just returning from a brief break after a wonderfully blessed last four months of work.  After months of travel and many very interesting firm retreats, training programs, conferences, workshops and other great client engagements, I stopped and rested with my family in that wonderful pastime known as the summer vacation.  And the respite from my constantly wired work life was awesome!

At this juncture, I must admit that I stopped once per day and cleared emails on my BlackBerry (with the exception of one day, perhaps), but I avoided any work-related phone contact and kept my laptop shut most of my six days away.  I read two great pleasure books, got sun, shopped, ate and slept more hours each night than I ever get in “real” life.  Best of all, I didn’t think much about work and really enjoyed the ability to wipe my mind clean of the often all-consuming work that I love.

As I prepare to dive back into work on Thursday (strategically placed so my return is really just a short two days), my head is clearer and my vision has been broadened.  I can once again see the forest of my life – because I stopped running crazily from tree-to-tree for even a few days.   Taking a break from all things work has also deepened my friendships with my husband and children as we explored both new and familiar territory together again. 

I am grateful to whoever invented the summer break and I thank God for the wonderful rest that I have been granted.  What have you done to rest this summer?  Please share your story or the benefits you’ve gained.  I’m interested!

Gratefully,

 

Jen Wilson
www.convergencecoaching.com

Are You Ignoring Spinach In Someone’s Teeth?

There is simply no greater gift you can give than to provide someone constructive performance feedback that comes from a genuine care and concern for their well-being and success.  Telling someone what they are doing well, what they need to improve, what they should stop doing or what they should start doing allows them to course correct and get better.  Not telling them, to quote my partner, Tamera, is “like allowing someone to go through a whole meal with a piece of spinach in their teeth and not realize it until later.”

In other words, not providing performance feedback is un-cool.  So, why do we allow people in our lives – family, friends, colleagues, peers, subordinates, clients and others – to show up with spinach in their teeth (metaphorically)?  What are we afraid of?

I believe that we put off providing feedback because we’re afraid of:

• Hurting someone’s feelings or that our feelings will be hurt
• The other person stomping off in a huff and upset at us
• Not making a difference and the behavior not changing
• Not knowing the best way to communicate the improvement that needs to occur
• Being too angry or upset and worrying about letting our emotions take over (and potentially saying something we’ll regret)
• Looking like our expectations are too high or that we’re too hard to work with/for
• Not being sure what we’re thinking is accurate
• Afraid we’ll step on someone else’s toes or don’t have the authority to speak up
• Worried that what we’re going to share is something the other person didn’t realize was expected

But the benefits of delivering performance feedback far outweigh these risks.  First and foremost, doing so enables us to open up honest communication with the other person and frees us up to have a straight-talking relationship based on clear expectations.  Doing so also enables us to:

• Get feedback on ways we can improve our people and processes – and ourselves
• Have workability in our relationships, for example with peers
• Provide an opportunity for people to truly improve performance
• Motivate those who are on the right track to continue on their path and inspire those who are not to shift directions
• Manage those who are not performing to improve, which will provide us confidence that we’ve done all we could if we have to admit that a team member is not working out

If you aren’t sure how to approach a performance feedback discussion, consider a few possible approaches that work downstream, sidestream and upstream, too:

• If you’re not sure that expectations are clear, the first discussion can be something like, “I am not sure that you are aware that…” or “I wanted to be sure you were aware of the expectation that we…” or “I have an expectation and am not sure that I have communicated it or gotten buy in from you on it…”

• If you are sure that the expectation is clear, you can express disappointment that it hasn’t been met by saying, “I expected THIS but experienced THAT and wanted to get your input on why that is.”
• If you want to provide several different kinds of feedback, you can use the format I started this blog with by sharing what the person should keep doing (things they are doing well), what they should stop doing or change doing (things they need to improve) and what they should start doing (new things you’d like them to begin doing).

As a last thought on this subject, it is always easier to take feedback from someone who is open to receiving it, so check in with yourself as to whether you are inviting others in your life to provide you feedback and help you identify your figurative spinach issues. 

What is your experience delivering performance feedback?  How open are you to receiving it?  What tips or ideas do you have to share?  Please post your thoughts!

 

Gratefully,

Jen Wilson
www.convergencecoaching.com

Management and Morale…

In my mind, management and morale are so closely linked.  Unfortunately, I’ve talked to many individuals whose managers weren’t born, and were never taught, to be “people managers.”  Most companies will say that they want a high-functioning, cohesive team and to increase retention at their firm but do not always consider the specific skill set of those they place in management positions or  provide the appropriate training to teach those important management principles.  Some managers are given the title because of past accomplishments, longevity with the firm, or technical ability without considering their personality, affinity for others, conflict management skills, or communication style.  

 

Some of the following management “missteps”  can negatively impact morale and retention.  If you see yourself in them, consider the tips for each to build more teamwork, collaboration, productivity, and respect among your team. 

 

Do as I say – not as I do.  Leaders must be willing to model the behavior we expect from our team.  Keeping our word, demonstrating the qualities we look for in them (honesty, accountability), and putting in the effort we expect of them are examples of vital behaviors.  When we require certain behaviors from our team but do not do them ourselves, respect is lost.  For instance, if a client project is due on Monday and the team is behind, if you ask the team to stay late on a Friday, leaving early that day will only breed resentment!  Being a good manager means being willing to dig in and be a team player, working alongside them whenever possible. 

 

Lack of training/hoarding.  On the opposite side of over-delegating is the manager who simply does their job as if they have no team.  It is important to train your employees and allow them to learn the skills they need to grow and succeed – and even to make mistakes through that learning process.  Not only is this critical for firm succession, but it shows that you trust them with the work, which builds morale and teamwork overall.

 

Micromanaging.  This “over-management” style is often used by some of us who have controlling personalities or when someone hasn’t properly been trained in management techniques or isn’t sure of their management responsibilities, so they compensate by being zealous over every detail of their employees’ jobs.  There may even be the fear of not looking good to their own superiors if things are not in perfect order.  This controlling behavior, however,  usually shows up for the employees as distrust of their abilities and saps their job satisfaction. 

 

Take a step back to evaluate the truly important details you need from your employees and what does not need your input or attention.  Then, establish how your employees should “return and report” their status so you can be sure they are on the right track, help them remove roadblocks, and allow them to do their job.  

 

Favoritism or unequal treatment.  Maybe one of your employees is your old college roommate or someone you hang out with on the weekends, but it’s not appropriate to give them the “preferred” assignments, overlook performance issues that you address with other employees, or give them inflated review marks and/or salary increases.  The word will get out, and trust will be lost.  The remedy for this is awareness and conscientious attention to fair treatment of all employees to maintain good team morale.

 

King/Queen of “No.”  Instead of an automatic rejection of ideas that may be different from the ways things have been done in the past, which can shut down communication going forward and diminish collaboration, teamwork, and morale, it is good practice to truly listen to your employees’ suggestions or requests (and be open to them!).  Their suggestions may just be the best for both them and your team if you are willing to explore new ways of doing business.  It’s okay to discuss why their ideas may not work – or why certain aspects are not feasible – but be open to collaborating a win-win solution.  If you are approachable in this way, your people will learn that you are willing to listen, even if their ideas won’t work each time, and they will continue to generate and communicate new solutions.

 

Any of these management missteps can cause morale problems and potentially lead to turnover.  The first step is acknowledging that a problem exists.  Then, have straight conversations with your team and/or manager, and consider seeking management training for your firm in the areas of leadership skills, conflict management, delivering effective feedback, and communication to help your current and future managers be better leaders.

 

If you are not a manager but encounter these issues in your work, start by exploring how you can view your situation in a more positive way (read our post on positivity here).  Then, consider scheduling an honest (but collaborative and respectful) conversation to brainstorm real solutions to specific challenges you see in your group.  And remember, managing people is not easy, so consider that there are viewpoints other than your own and be open to hearing them from your manager.

 

I would love to hear how you resolved or plan to resolve your past or current management struggles for the betterment of team morale!

 

Warm regards,

 

Krista Remer

 

P.S. It’s important to note that the cost to replace a lost employee is 1.5 to 2 times their salary, so improving management skills that, in turn, will likely boost morale and retention, is also profitable for the firm!

The Question on Everyone’s Mind

When potential clients are listening to you explain your services, there is always one burning question on their minds.  When prospective employees are evaluating your firm as a possible place to work, they have the same burning question.  And when you’re trying to convince people to adopt a new way of doing something, they also have the same question!  The question on everyone’s mind is “What’s in it for me?”  Typically, as people listen to you or read your website or other promotional materials, they are trying to find out why they should be interested in your message, what they will get, and how their lives or their businesses will improve .  Unfortunately, many times we take too long to let people know why they should be interested, or worse – we never answer the BIG question!  By answering  “What’s in it for me?”, you can drastically increase the chances that your ideas will be adopted, that potential employees will be attracted to what your firm has to offer and that people will engage you to do business with them.

 

In our communications, we typically bombard our listeners with features, which are the things or facts about your topic.  For a prospective client, features are the services of deliverables that they will “get” (i.e., a tax return, schedules, an audit report, a financial statement, a personal financial plan).  Our communications typically don’t include benefits, which illustrate the end result that they will gain when engaging your firm.   For example, in our marketing materials or prospect meetings, many people focus on telling prospective client all about their firm, their qualifications, the tasks and services that they can perform.  But, it is much more effective to appeal to their self interest by emphasizing the benefits – or the end result – that the prospective client will achieve, such as time savings, money savings, less stress, peace of mind, etc.  If you have seen a bulleted list of services without an explanation of what that service translates into for the client, then that is a list of features and is missing the benefits.

 

Consider training yourself to start writing and speaking in “benefits language.”  Dig a little bit deeper to identify what’s in it for your listener by adopting your idea, becoming employed by your firm or choosing to work with your firm.  Figure out how to appeal to their self-interest so that they can get excited about what you are offering.  You are looking for an emotional response, trying to pinpoint a desire to gain something or reduce some pain or discomfort.  This is a different way of communicating and usually requires more forethought and preparation than we’re used to.  But, once you get in the habit of doing it, you will start doing it more naturally and won’t have to work as hard to uncover the deeper benefit.  We have created a tool called the Features Benefits Exercise to help you start thinking, speaking, and writing in benefits language and you can download your copy by clicking here.  The intention is to help you produce what we call “Features/Benefits Statements” that includes both features and benefits.  I am not saying that the features are not important, they are and people will want to know about them, but it is also important to highlight the benefits of those features as well.

 

To create features benefits statements, I recommend doing what I call the “So that” exercise, which is to write the words “so that” next to the feature, fact or service and then write the deeper benefit or the end result of the feature, fact or service.  For example, you might write “Personal Financial Planning, so that you can have confidence about the security of your financial future.”  Notice that the words “personal financial planning” don’t really invoke any emotions but when you hear the words that come after “so that,” you’re more likely to feel something inside, like excitement and peace of mind or less stress and reduced fear and uncertainty.

 

When you communicate the difference you will make in the listeners life and articulate the benefits or outcome they can expect, you will enable the listener to envision the possibilities that will result from your service, opportunity, or idea.  Take a moment to strategize about a conversation that you will be having or a message you need to deliver in the near future and identify how you can communicate to your listener in benefits language.  And, be sure to let me know how it goes!

 

 

 

Best Regards,

 

Michelle Baca

www.convergencecoaching.com

 

 

P.S. Communicating in benefits language and answering the WIIFM question works on spouses and children too.  Instead of telling my daughter that she had to clean her room because I said so, I instead told her that when her room is clean, she can find all of her pretty clothes and toys that get lost in the mess when it’s a disaster area.  Try it and see how effective your communications become!

Proud To Be An American

 I’ve been thinking about how different people have shared how they celebrated the 4^th of July, which truly represents the individuality of being American, including: participating in a parade, fishing and boating at the cabin, attending a baseball game (of course, my bias is the Twins in their new open air stadium), and watching (or shooting off your own) fireworks.

That individuality is what makes our country great and it also makes it difficult at times to encompass equality with all of the diversity.  Yet I think we forget (I know I do!) that we have such liberty bestowed on us just because we are Americans.  I echo my colleague, Sylvia Lane’s sentiment in her blog post last week that we are blessed to live in a country that affords us freedom of choice to design our own lives.  

I know I take my freedoms for granted and do occasionally whine or complain about my circumstances or things that are “imposed” on me, but I catch myself quickly, because I have a rule that if I’m not willing to do something about it, I don’t get to complain about it.  That includes how my school district spends money, laws that are passed or what our country is doing about the Gulf or in Afghanistan. Instead, I take advantage of the rights I do have and vote, participate in assemblies and influence decisions that affect me in other ways.  However, if I’m not willing to be on the school board or run for a local office, my complaining is limited. 

Instead, I choose to look at all the good I have in my life and empower myself with the choices I make, such as where I live, where I send my children to school, the church where I worship, the causes I choose to support, and so on.  It is liberating to take advantage of these rights and would make our founding fathers proud. 

How are you capitalizing on the liberties available to you as an American?  Please post a comment and share with us – we’d love to hear from you!

Warmly,

Tamera
www.convergencecoaching.com

Freedom to Be

As we approach the celebration of July 4th, I have been reflecting on the significance of freedom in our daily lives.  I think of freedom as having the liberty to make my own choices and having free will in planning and designing my own life and work experiences.  We are blessed to live in a country that values the entrepreneurial spirit.  Many of the people that I know and admire have started their own businesses and are role models for others on how to "do your own thing" successfully.  As coaches at ConvergenceCoaching, we are regularly assisting business owners in maximizing their talents and those of their team to achieve their dreams that had them start their own business in the first place while managing the responsibility that comes along with that ownership. 

 

I was recently rereading Colette Dowling's book The Cinderella Complex.  She identifies the hidden fears of independence that women often have.  Why would anyone be afraid of being free?  Her book was written in 1981 and describes societal changes that have affected women's independence over time, including how women were trained to retreat from challenge and to value  “being saved” or protected by men.  She then concludes with ways to "spring free" from the dependency trap and embrace a more independent lifestyle, just as we do when in our teens and break away from the dependency of our parents.  I don't think that this only applies to women.  We have seen some of the same fears in both men and women when it comes to the responsibilities of independence and making tough decisions about their businesses, often preferring the predictability of the “known” rather than taking risks towards the unknown. 

 

When we recognize the conflict between the comfort of what we already know and the fear of the unknown, we gain more power to take risks and exercise our independence.  We're like young birds testing our wings.  We repeat this process each time that we try new things.  Dowling describes the need for a systematic plan and a persistent behavior to make these changes so we’re more likely to achieve success – and we agree! 

 

We help leaders develop a focused strategy for change.   Having a plan allows us to let go of old fears and move forward with new behaviors.  We design our roadmap.  We set the destination.  We are clear about who is driving.  We take responsibility for how far we plan to go and know where we choose to make rest stops.  Sometimes we may change drivers but we are still headed in the right direction.  If we start to get lost, we stop and freely share about where we went wrong.  We recalibrate the route and hit the road.  We support each other's independence and unique contribution to our goals.

 

Having a plan also helps us be responsible for our decisions and freedom of choice.  We can plan for potential impacts on others and be accountable for our decisions.  It’s a fine balance between exercising our independence and freedoms and limiting some of those freedoms for the “greater good.”  We are experiencing this in our country right now as we try to find the right balance as we address the emergency in the Gulf or determine how far to go with bailouts.   We experience these impacts of our independence and free choice on a smaller scale in our own practices, too.   This is why we have professional associations and partnerships with codes of ethics to help us maintain this balance.  And individually we can develop a plan that will consider the consequences of our decisions as we work towards our goals and then create regular feedback against our plan with others we are in partnership with or whom we know have a similar value system and will help hold us accountable.

 

As we sing songs of liberty and freedom this Independence Day, let’s take a moment to appreciate our freedoms and increase our awareness of the impacts of the choices that we make as we employ these freedoms.  How do you balance your independence so you can exercise the freedoms we get to enjoy in the great U.S. of A. and be responsible for your decisions and the impact they have on others?  Post a comment and share!  

 

Warm Regards,

 

Sylvia

www.convergencecoaching.com

 

P.S. The ConvergenceCoaching team will be celebrating the 4^th of July holiday on Monday, July 5^th, so our offices will be closed.  We will be back in our offices on Tuesday, July 6^th.   Be safe and enjoy your holiday weekend!